Life Angles: LIFE Acronym #16 - Labels Impede Flowering Excellence

LIFE Acronym #16:
"Labels Impede Flowering Excellence"

As with most of my posts, this one is going to include a bit of my own personal opinions. I hope that my readers will either "see the light" and agree with me, or agree to disagree with me. Most of all, I hope that nobody gets offended or defensive.

Now, I am not a parent, nor have I ever been one. But I have watched my own parents, watched many other parents, and read about yet more. I have seen parents who are quick to slap labels on their children, and I think that in most cases such behavior is wrong, and stymies the growth and progression of that child.

Now, I hold the optimistic belief that most parents are genuinely trying hard to do the best that they can in raising their children. And I believe that when parents make the mistake of labeling their children, they do not realize that they are making a mistake. They are simply following what this messed-up society has taught them.

I am no pessimist; on the contrary, I am an incorrigible optimist and an avid idealist. But that does not mean that I am blind to what I see are the problems in this world.

Let me tell you something about this "messed-up society", as I have referred to it. Somewhere, at some time in the recent past, some people in the medical and social fields decided that they needed to create terms for everything that they saw as a "problem" in people's behavior. They sought to explain such "problems" by finding "imbalances" in the brain, lymphatic systems, adrenal systems, and other variables. But everything is relative. Who were they to say that one mixture of brain chemistry is better than another?!

There may well be differing amounts of these variables present in different people. But that does not mean that it is a "problem" or should be treated as such. It's not a problem; it's a DIFFERENCE. And individuality is one of humankind's best features.

What of temperaments and personality types? I doubt that those "label-happy" people though much about that sort of thing. All they did was assume that the types of behavior that they considered "wrong" were due to something being "out of its proper balance". And even if that is true sometimes, it's nonetheless best not to be labeling your children.

I was home-schooled, then went to a private school and a charter school. Home-schooling parents often have a divergent outlook on the differences that they see among children. And they're MUCH slower to slap a "label" on a child than the crowd-following parents who hardly step outside of the box of this society's influences to think for themselves.

Even if a so-called "disability" does cause a child to learn slowly, that doesn't mean that there's something "wrong" with that child.

For instance, I took much longer to grasp reading than most kids do. Maybe I just wasn't all that interested in it. Or maybe there was indeed something "chemical" going on in my brain that caused me to learn it slower than most. But my parents didn't worry about it. They didn't treat me differently, and they didn't go have some quack prescribe a MIND-ALTERING DRUG WITH SIDE EFFECTS!

Sorry for the bluntness and rude style of speaking, but sometimes I just like to rant and rave about the subjects that get to me the most. I don't mean to offend any well-meaning doctors, pharmacists, case workers, or parents. I just think that you're all a product of the improper teachings that our society has fed you your whole lives.

And before you say "Oh, he's just trying to pad his own ego and make himself feel better for being slow to learn to read when he was a kid", please bear with me as I finish the story.

I didn't follow the same pace as most kids. But when I finally DID pick up reading 2 or 3 years after most kids did, BOY DID I GET IT! I rocketed past all the other kids my age, and took off to the stratosphere!

Let me give you an analogy. Let's say that you decide to have a race between a hot air balloon and a rocket. You get them both all ready for launch, and the crowds start to gather for the big event!

The hot air balloon is filled and is only tethered down by a couple of ropes. The rocket is positioned and ready, with a long fuse. They shoot the guns and the race begins! The hot air balloon instantly takes off, climbing upwards at a nice pace. The fuse is lit, but the rocket sits still as the long fuse continues to burn.

People start complaining, saying that there's something wrong with the rocket, and it's way slower than the hot air balloon. Other people think that those people are idiots. Can't they see that the fuse is burning?! But no, they can't, because they are blinded by the bright sun and the distance. But the people who are close to the rocket know better.

The hot air balloon is getting really high up there now. The pessimistic, problem-creating people begin calling their friends and saying, "There's something wrong with the rocket! It needs to be fixed! Bring your tool kit and we'll volunteer to go help the rocket team fix it before it's too late. We'll tell them what's wrong with it because we're smart and we know about rockets!".

They call the the rocket team people on their cell phones and explain the solutions that they've come up with. But the rocket team won't hear it. They know that the rocket is perfectly fine, and they tell the naysayers so.

A general state of relative confusion reigns for a little while, but finally, VINDICATION!!! The crowds are stunned in a glorious instant as a loud, commanding boom breaks out, followed by a sound that is half roar and half screech! People turn to look, and they see the masterfully-crafted rocket just as it shoots upward and onward with hyper-speed, powerfully and competently slicing through the atmosphere. It quickly overtakes the balloon, and continues on and out of sight! There is no more doubt in anyone's mind about the rocket. Everyone knows that it is perfectly fine. In fact, some would say that it excels!

Just as the rocket in my analogy, when I did pick up reading, I took off at breakneck speed! I was soon reading at college level, and testing far above the averages of my same-age comrades. In fact, English and other languages have come easily to me ever since. I tested into Honors college English and math, and took college classes while I was in high school, graduating early with several college credits.

When I took my Series 7 and Series 63 tests to become an Investment Broker, I studied more than half of the entire Series 7 study materials just the day before! And I passed the 6-hour, 250-question test on the first try. The lady at corporate was shocked, saying that it is known as one of the hardest tests out there. Many people simply cannot pass it, and most people do not pass it on the first try. When I took the Series 6, which is a 3-hour, 100-question test, I studied the ENTIRE THING the day before, and still passed IT TOO on my first try.

I once took a 40-question I.Q. test and only missed one question! It compared me to Einstein! Of course, I know I'm nowhere near his level of genius and intelligence.

But you tell me, back when I was a little kid, and was slow to learn to read, was something "wrong" with me? I DON'T THINK SO!!!

How many kids in the public schooling system have been falsely labeled because they learned at a different pace than the pace that the authorities have decided is normal?

How many of them have been embarrassed during this key social developmental stage because of these labels? How many of them overcame the sub-conscious scars? Or how many of them suffered as unconfident people when they should have been wildly competent and totally confident with their abilities?

The term "learning disability" is sometimes true, but is sometimes a false label. The same goes for the terms "ADD", "ADHD", "OCD", etc.

I myself display some of the signs of so-called "Attention Deficit Disorder". Think about that. The last word in that acronym is "disorder". Do you really want your kids to be going around thinking that something is wrong with them?

They are different, they are individual, but they are not WRONG. Everyone is a diverse and original creation. We should honor differences as something that gives people character, just as a woman's facial mole is not despised, but instead is called a "beauty mark". A beauty mark is not considered a blemish, but is cherished as one of that woman's unique identifiers, and is actually considered to be highly attractive.

Keep in mind that the labels that parents give to their children are not always of the clinical nature.

Labels that parents sometimes give their children include varying degrees of derogatory terms, such as "lazy", "inconsiderate", "disobedient", "selfish", "mean", "rude", "hyper", "difficult", "brat", "hellion", "rebel", "loser", "dumb", "stupid", "foolish", "naive", "ignorant", "weak", and "bad", among many others.

When you put a negative label on a child, it only pours more gas on the fire. Soon the child starts believing your labels, and acting accordingly. Find a way to avoid labels.

It wasn't until I was an adult that I learned that I had "ADD tendencies", and was slow at learning to read. My parents never labeled me, and I am very thankful for that.

I still do zone out of a conversation sometimes, because my mind is always whirring, always thinking, always processing the world around me and the thoughts within me in interesting ways. But when I zone out of a conversation, I am always considerate, and I apologize and ask the person to repeat what they were saying. And my friends consider me a true friend. I've even been called a good listener!

They say that people with that label called "ADD" have genius tendencies, and can accomplish amazing things when they do focus. So even if I were to be diagnosed with that LABEL, I would never accept anything even remotely resembling a drug. I don't want some mind-altering chemical going in there and messing with the way that God made me. I like myself very well the way that I am, thank you very much.

And you should love your children the way that they are, and celebrate the diversity that they bring to the world and to your home. Don't force them around as some kind of a serf who is subservient to you. Don't put yourself on such a pedestal that you feel the need to exercise unrighteous dominion over them, or your spouse for that matter.

Speaking of spouses, DON'T LABEL YOUR SPOUSE!!!

Don't try to change anyone's nature. Only try to shape people's future by believing in their divine potential, and pointing them in the direction of true and empowering principles. And most importantly, be a good example.