Life Angles: LIFE Acronym #9 - Let Individuality Flourish Evermore

LIFE Acronym #9:
"Let Individuality Flourish Evermore"

Individuality is the antithesis of conformity. I am a non-conformist to the nth degree, and therefore believe in individuality passionately. I don't like following the crowd. I like to be assertive and think for myself, and determine my own paradigms based less on social pressure and more on the logic and emotions of my mind. I am not afraid to vivaciously and aggressively fly in the face of social pressure. I will do what I feel is best, or what the heterogeneous processes of my individual mind lead me to DECIDE to do.

Everyone sees the world differently. Everyone's reality is only the paradigms that they BELIEVE at that moment, and these structural codes of the mind are what cause people to act the way that they do. Please keep in mind that when someone believes something, their mind actually latches onto it with more force than the powerful adductor muscles that hold a clam's shell together! Like the determined strength of a Gila Monster's jaw, the human mind does not easily let go when it bites down onto what it believes.

People see only what their mind interprets. Think of the mind and senses as an algorithm. The algorithm is the bridge between the senses and the mind. This algorithm takes raw data that was compiled by our senses, and turns it into something that the mind can understand. In mathematics, if you change one of the variables in the algorithm, the algorithm will spit out a completely different answer. The same holds true with the algorithm of the mind. These variables in the mind's algorithm correspond to the different ways that our minds interpret things.

Our minds typically interpret the world around us based upon our past experiences. And since everyone has had different experiences shape their current perspectives and realities, that means that our minds have different variables set in the algorithms that interpret what our senses bring to our minds. If there are different interpreting algorithms going on in different people's minds, the end results will look vastly different. Those end results are people's realities and beliefs.

When two people see two different realities, one or both people often simply cannot understand the other person. This is because, as I mentioned earlier, their mind is vigorously latched onto their own perspective; their reality.

Now let me talk a bit about the symbols and sounds that we attach to the many things in this world that our minds can comprehend. These symbols are words, and sometimes graphics, diagrams, or signs. And the sounds are spoken words, sound effects, grumbles and grunts, sighs, yelps, and various other auditory signals that can be interpreted by the mind.

When we learn a language, all that we are really doing is learning the symbols and sounds that have been attached to things. Words bring to our minds and spirits a recognition of the object or idea that the word has been linked to in our language. Words are the links between our intangible spirits and the natural world.

Everything has a definition and an identity that our spirits are either already familiar with, or will learn upon our first interaction or encounter with that thing. Most of the obviously recognizable things, ideas, and aspects of the known universe have already had words (and by extension, sounds) attached to them by the architects of the English Language.

But it is YOUR OWN SPIRIT that adds a deeper, more specific-to-you meaning to the aforementioned symbols and sounds. Many spoken or written words actually have a slightly different meaning for different people. To illustrate this concept, let me remind you of the varying attitudes that different people have toward things.

Imagine two people. One person has had a terrible experience with a certain food. Perhaps it made them sick or they were allergic. But, in stark contrast, another person delights in even the thought of that food.

Upon hearing the word that corresponds to that item of food, it may conjure up within the first person a plethora of negative feelings and perhaps even detestation toward the food that is being referred to. Yet, if the second person hears or reads the word that corresponds to that food, they may smile, close their eyes, and relish the delectable memories of having enjoyed it before.

I grew up having a garden, and having plentiful greens available and used often. Just the thought of stewed beet greens or stewed spinach makes my mouth water. I always add primarily lemon and salt, and sometimes butter and/or a little vinegar. I can eat that stuff by the plateful. Oh man, I'm craving it right now just thinking about it! But, does the thought of stewed beet greens or stewed spinach bring the same thoughts to your mind? Probably not. The texture is not exactly romantic. You may even dislike the taste. But I love it.

These differing opinions, preferences, and tastes between separate people are what we call INDIVIDUALITY. It is those differences that we should be honoring, not mocking or trying to change. Each person's experiences are sacred to them, and as such demand respect. There are so many different directions that I can go with this idea!

For one, think about the many people that have vastly differing opinions than you do. Don't you know people who are just wired completely differently than you are? We all do. It's important to recognize that just because a word, thought, concept, or idea means something to you, does not mean that there is something inherently wrong with someone who views things completely differently. When there is someone in your life like that, you have to both be mature enough to respect each other's viewpoints, and accept the fact that you are simply wired differently.

The hard part comes when someone is so vehemently fixated to an idea that they see it as unadulterated truth, and therefore by default see people with differing viewpoints as misled, mistaken, and misguided. There truly is absolute truth out there, and finding it should be the highest quest of every intelligent being.

But, absolute truth is not available in every situation. Some situations are simply a matter of preference. This is true even if one party sees their side as absolute truth, and blindly assumes that it must therefore apply to every single other human being or person in a similar circumstance.

This abrasive intersection between the ideals of two people can be a source of much frustration. Close your eyes and determine whether or not you have been on the blind side of this scenario in one of the relationships in your life. If you currently are, for the sake of the other person, please stop. Do you really know beyond any fleck of doubt that your idea is pure truth? If you are not sure, then just relax a bit! Let the other person live their life, experience things for themselves, and take the path that they feel is best for them. Let them exercise their God-given, inalienable right to be DIFFERENT! Let them be an individual.

I'm not asking you to simply refrain from hounding them about things that you see are wrong with them. I'm asking you to do some internal work, and TRULY ACCEPT THEM for who they are, and accept that their decisions and viewpoints are their own right. I'm asking you to get rid of any overtones that suggest that you feel that they are mistaken and need to change. This ESPECIALLY applies if they look up to you, respect you, or deep down yearn for your approval.

Some people follow the obvious path, which is perfectly fine to do in most cases. But, some people BLAZE THEIR OWN PATHS, and go against the grain of the "acceptable norm". That is okay for them to do also. In fact, it may even be a divinely-inspired path for them that will help to effectuate some small or large part of God's plans for us, His children here upon the Earth.

I'd like to delve a little bit more into the idea of ACCEPTING someone who you are close to, even if you feel that they are mistaken. The fundamental longing to feel accepted by those we love is among one of human-kind's most basic needs. Would you deny someone that? Would you starve someone you love of a basic human need?

Love them; love them and appreciate them. Accept them for the person that they are. This directive applies even if they are indeed wrong, and even if they are in fact misled to choose the wrong choice in a given situation.

There are three types of choices in this world:

1. There are arbitrary, discretionary choices that are inconsequential.
2. There are right choices.
3. And there are wrong choices.

Right choices correlate to truth, and wrong choices are correlated to error. Discretionary choices correlate to neither truth nor error. It is our job to do our best to discern which category a given choice fits into FOR US. And it is our job to love and accept everyone, NO MATTER WHICH OF THE THREE CHOICES THEY CHOOSE. This does not mean that we are required to condone. I only said ACCEPT. That means that you value them as a person, and you respect their choices. It means that you do not force your ideals and perceptions upon them.

Now, I want to talk a little about tact. It's interesting to note the 4 different conditions that can exist when someone makes a choice:

1. Someone can pick a right choice knowingly.
2. Someone can pick a right choice unknowingly.
3. Someone can pick a wrong choice knowingly.
4. Someone can pick a wrong choice unknowingly.

Sometimes, deep down inside, someone may know the right choice, and still pick the other choice because they are in DENIAL. But their awareness of a choice's classification is not a prerequisite for our acceptance of them as a person. And once again, I'm not just talking about "lip service" here. I'm talking about TRULY accepting them and their choices and chosen paths, and not trying to change them.

Imagine how important this is among familiar relationships. A "familiar relationship" is a close relationship, and this especially applies to family. In fact, the word "familiar" originated from the word "family", because within families you have some of the closest relationships. You are intimately "familiar" with your own family. A family is a close-knit group of INDIVIDUALS. They all generally work for a common goal, and have the same basic needs, but may go about things in completely different ways.

It is so important to be accepting of your family and closest friends. Do your best not to argue with them. If you are talking about a subject that you know you both have vastly differing opinions about, please remember tact, and keep in mind the difference between "fact" and "opinion".

Many a high-spirited argument could have been avoided by simply correctly classifying the subjects under examination as "opinion". But this only works if BOTH parties agree that it is opinion, and consciously feel that it is important to accept other people, even when they have differing points of view.

One other point about tact that I want to make is the power of your choice of words. Think of the words "In my opinion". These are some pacifying words, wouldn't you say?

Use them, and they just may smooth over any abrasive relationships that you have in your life right now. When you use those words, you are highlighting the fact that you are an INDIVIDUAL, and are not simply a drone or a lemming that is required to fit a mold or follow a certain path.

When you say the words "In my opinion", "I believe", or "I feel", you are referring only to yourself, and are not projecting any of your ideas onto the other person. These words disarm. It is when you present things as absolute truth that the person you're presenting to may feel guarded, attacked, or vulnerable. If they don't agree with your point of view, they will feel that you are correcting them and not accepting them. And when that happens, you are depleting a vital need from their emotional tank.

As a summary, I want to remind you that just because I am aware of these principles does not mean that I follow them perfectly. I need to remind myself of these things just as you do, and I hope that today's post has taught you something useful, or reminded you of something that you already knew.